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MG Midget and Sprite General - Bin Laden found (shed in Tipton)

""Al Qa'eeda to go on strike.
Muslim suicide bombers in Britain are set to begin a three-day strike next Monday in a dispute over the number of virgins they are entitled to in the afterlife. Emergency talks with Al Qaeda have so far failed to produce an agreement.
The unrest began last Tuesday when Al Qaeda announced that the number of virgins a suicide bomber would receive after his death will be cut by 25% this April from 72 to only 60. The rationale for the cut was the increase in recent years of the number of suicide bombings and a subsequent shortage of virgins in the afterlife.
The suicide bombers' union, the British Organization of Occupational Martyrs (or B.O.O.M.) responded with a statement that this was unacceptable to its members and immediately balloted for strike action. General Secretary Abdullah Amir told the press,
"Our members are literally working themselves to death in the cause of Jihad. We don't ask for much in return but to be treated like this is like a kick in the teeth".
Speaking from his shed in Tipton in the West Midlands in which he currently resides, Al Qaeda chief executive Osama bin Laden explained,
"We sympathize with our workers' concerns but Al Qaeda is simply not in a position to meet their demands. They are simply not accepting the realities of modern-day Jihad in a competitive marketplace. Thanks to Western depravity, there is now a chronic shortage of virgins in the afterlife. It's a straight choice between reducing expenditure and laying people off. I don't like cutting wages but I'd hate to have to tell 3000 of my staff that they won't be able to blow themselves up."
Spokespersons for the union in Newcastle, Middlesbrough, Essex and Australia stated that they would be unaffected as there are no virgins in these areas anyway.
Apparently the drop in the number of suicide bombings has been largely put down to the emergence of the Scottish singing star, Susan Boyle. Now that Muslims know what a virgin looks like, they are not so keen on going to paradise.""

The Christian version of the afterlife was lagging behind, but this must be good news for them in recruitment!
Bob Turbo Midget England

Ha ha ha, and that on a thursday.
Good one.
Alex G Matla

reminds me of a story for our East Anglian friends[so best spoken in a Norfolk accent].. Police stopping an elderly bearded man in a horse and cart recently asked him if he was Bin Laden... No came the reply.. I bin t'Norwich


[Lodden is a village near Norwich allegedly...]




I'll get my coat...
David Cox

At the 4:42 mark this old "fellow" discusses his view on suicide bombers and virgins.

Not sure if the humor translates to your side of the pond:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GFelEa8wAIk
Trevor Jessie

My wife who was raised in Catholic schools says all they'll find is a buch of old Nuns.
Bill Young

Heh, heh, and it is not written what gender the virgins shall be...
Alex G Matla

Oh, that was hilarious. The part I wonder about is, after two or three months in paradise, your "virgins" will no longer be virgins. What do you do then?

Thanks Bob,

-:G:-
Gryf Ketcherside

I would think Osama bin Laden would blow himself up to show solidarity with the cause.
tomshobby

Gryf - 2 or 3 months?????????

PeterJMoore

How Miss USA will push the secret Muslim agenda:

A leaked memo confirms a nefarious plot to infiltrate America using the one weapon we can't resist: Total hotness!

http://www.salon.com/life/feature/2010/05/18/plot_to_infiltrate_america_through_miss_usa/index.html
R J Reeves

I have not the slightest doubt that Mr B.Laden is living in a council house in Hartlepool( or somewhere equally grim-apologies to the poor denizens of that benighted place),on State benefits with his 6 or 7 kids,And probably voted in the last General Election.Nothing surprises me any more about this lunatic place ( apart,possibly, from the affection(?) for MGFs).
MR Blencowe

I thought about announcing to the American airbase that Bin Laden lived next door to me (strange man living there wearing a beard) - I could never decided whether or not I really wanted my house bombed by mistake ...!
rachmacb

Fippin heck Rach just realised when Prop and his mates in the FBI read this Britain is likely to disappear in a cloud of collateral damage!!!!
Robert (Bob) Midget Turbo

LOL - unless they hit Holland by mistake ... ;)!
rachmacb

That made me laugh so much I have had to loosen off my special vest !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I Pickering

Robert(Bob) That's f####n' great. I hope you don't mind if I nick it to send to some of my mates.

Bernie.
b higginson

Hi Bob,

I think it was you I saw in Lincoln the other day - just dropping a quick hello....... managed to get the screen on the Sprite but Midge is still clutchless!!!
If you drop me an e-mail I'll catch up with you again sometime -
best regards - Neal
N Broadbent

Im offended, this site should be pulled from record... LOL

Seriously I thought you where going to talk about the fact that al-qaeda is almost bankrupt... No money to wage war.

I guess they will have to set up a Major Corp. to mine the trillion dollars worth of lithium with a ceo and board of director, and stock prices and a IPO, and sectarys and neck ties and photo copiers and tvs and computers, and paid vac. and a health care plans, and tax shelters and a 401k plan, and a corp. car, and country club benifits and... OH F-ing mahomand! there going to have to be just like the Americans, inorder to wage ge-hade , We WIN, there going to be like us...LOL



http://www.dailyfinance.com/story/authorities-are-crippling-al-qaeda-by-cutting-off-its-money-supp/19356203/
Pro P

Also they hav'n't told them that the girls have to remain virgins.....!
AG Martin

This thread was discussed between 17/06/2010 and 18/06/2010

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